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The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict Paperback – July 13, 2015

4.7 out of 5 stars 2,192 ratings

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This bestseller explores how we often misunderstand the causes of our conflicts and shows us the paths to achieving true peace within ourselves and our relationships.
 
From the authors of
Leadership and Self-Deception comes a new edition of an international bestseller that instills hope and inspires reconciliation. What if conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause? What if we systematically misunderstand that cause? And what if, as a result, we unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve?
 
This book unfolds as a story. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other’s ethnic cousins.
The Anatomy of Peace is the story of how they came together, how they help warring parents and children come together, and how we too can find our way out of the personal, professional, and global conflicts that weigh us down, even when war is upon us.

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From the Publisher

arbinger institute

Most people and organizations tackle common problems—disengagement, conflict, poor communication, and so on—by trying to change behavior. The problem is that a behavioral focus alone will not solve these problems. Why? Because they are driven by mindset. Through training, coaching, consulting, and a suite of implementation tools, Arbinger helps individuals, teams, and organizations achieve breakthrough results by shifting from the default self-focus of an inward mindset to the impact-focus of an outward mindset. Programs and methodology are based on four decades of research in the psychology of human behavior and experience working with organizations worldwide in the corporate, healthcare, education, government, public safety, and nonprofit sectors.

Leadership and Self-Deception, Fourth Edition
The Anatomy of Peace
The Outward Mindset
Customer Reviews
4.6 out of 5 stars 3,684
4.7 out of 5 stars 2,192
4.6 out of 5 stars 1,374
Price $17.74 $12.74 $10.93
Titles by The Arbinger Institute This fourth edition of an international bestseller—over 3 million copies sold worldwide and translated into 33 languages—details how its powerful insights on motivation, conflict, and collaboration can benefit organizations as well as individuals. The Arbinger Institute explores how we misunderstand the causes of our conflicts and shows us the paths to achieving true peace within ourselves, in our relationships, and even between nations. The Outward Mindset helps individuals and organizations shift to a new mindset that will improve performance, spark collaboration, accelerate innovation, and make your life and the lives of everyone around you better.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“A book that could change the face of humanity.”
—Marion Blumenthal Lazan, holocaust survivor and bestselling author

“I loved Leadership and Self-Deception, and The Anatomy of Peace takes it to the next level, personally and professionally.”
—Adel Al-Saleh, President, IMS Health Europe, Middle East and Africa

“The most powerful tool I've seen for finding real, lasting peace—in families, organizations, communities, and nations.”
—Pamela Richarde, Past President, International Coach Federation

About the Author

The Arbinger Institute is an international training, consulting, and coaching firm that specializes in conflict resolution and peacemaking ―whether in families, in organizations, or between communities or nations. Arbinger’s clients range from individuals who are seeking help in their lives to families who are trying to strengthen and rebuild relationships to many of the largest companies and governmental institutions in the world, where Arbinger helps to establish new levels of teamwork and cooperation. For more information about Arbinger, please visit www.arbinger.com.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Berrett-Koehler Publishers
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ July 13, 2015
  • Edition ‏ : ‎ 2nd
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 288 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1626564310
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1626564312
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.73 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 out of 5 stars 2,192 ratings

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Arbinger Institute
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HISTORY

In the 1970s, a team of scholars led by philosopher C. Terry Warner embarked on an exploration into a core problem at the heart of the human sciences—the “problem of self-deception.” The research explored how we end up creating and sustaining problems we don’t know we are causing, and how and why people resist helpful solutions.

A DISCOVERY

Initially, all attempts to understand the phenomenon of self-deception failed, just as all attempts had for over 100 years. After years of work, however, the research team discovered a solution no one expected. They discovered the clear and surprising way that people begin to evade responsibility without thinking that they are doing so, and therefore end up blaming others or circumstances they, themselves, are helping to create. More importantly, they discovered how this could be corrected.

EARLY APPLICATION

Following this scholarly discovery, Arbinger’s founding members began teaching the principles in academic circles and within the university environment. This soon led to demand from individuals and families and then to requests for organizational applications. As more and more people and organizations experienced the profound changes that were enabled by Arbinger’s work, Arbinger evolved into a full-service consultancy that helps individuals and organizations solve the problems they have never been able to solve.

ARBINGER TODAY

Arbinger was founded in 1979. Since then, Arbinger has worked with thousands of individuals and organizations and helped them to transform their effectiveness and performance.

Early on, Arbinger’s growth was fueled solely by clients who spread the word about Arbinger’s impact. Arbinger’s public profile was then dramatically increased by the global success of its first book, Leadership & Self Deception, which was published in 2000. The book quickly became a word-of-mouth bestseller. It is now available in 27 languages and has sold over a million copies.

Arbinger’s second international bestseller, The Anatomy of Peace, was published in 2006. Available in 14 languages and having sold nearly 500,000 copies to date, The Anatomy of Peace demonstrates the power of Arbinger’s work in resolving conflict.

Arbinger is now recognized as a world-leader in improving organizational culture and conflict resolution. Arbinger’s clients range from individuals who are seeking help in their lives to many of the largest companies and governmental institutions in the world.

For more information, please visit www.arbinger.com

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
2,192 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book highly readable and life-changing, with concepts that are easy to follow and implement. The book effectively explains how to create peace within oneself and with others, and one customer notes it's written as a story rather than a philosophical lecture. The pacing receives mixed reactions, with some finding it quick while others say it's slow to get into.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

247 customers mention "Readability"239 positive8 negative

Customers find the book highly readable, describing it as one of the most important books they've never read, perfect for anyone in any situation, and worth their time.

"...This book is a prequel to another bestselling book by the Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self-Deception...." Read more

"This is such a great book. It really made me think about how I was coming across and how my intentions might be affecting outcomes." Read more

"This is one of the best books I have ever read...." Read more

"I got this book for a class, and as far as textbooks go, it’s decent...." Read more

239 customers mention "Insight"238 positive1 negative

Customers find the book particularly enlightening and life-changing, with one customer describing it as a psychology lesson told through a story.

"...by using Martin Buber as a sage, the book explores more philosophy than just organizational leadership...." Read more

"...That said, the concepts in this book are fascinating, and it really opens your eyes to different perspectives." Read more

"...We do this on a monthly basis and all the books we choose are profoundly life changing...." Read more

"...tremendously valuable improvements in my marriage, my relationships with my children, my coworkers, and everyone else I cross paths with as I go..." Read more

84 customers mention "Ease of reading"67 positive17 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and follow, written like a novel with readily implemented concepts that can be completed in one sitting.

"...was a significant read, because the message is pivotal and the technique is simple but not to the point of being simplistic...." Read more

"This was well written and had good insights of how we can deal with challenges in our families in a way that brings peace to both sides. Thank you!" Read more

"...It's written in a story way which makes it great for remembering and wanting to continue reading it. I learned a lot...." Read more

"...is great to get the prequel information and it was well written to support the original book...." Read more

67 customers mention "Peace"67 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's approach to creating inner peace and maintaining harmony with others, with one customer noting its clear explanation of peacemaking stages.

"...This story tells about a group that resolves family conflicts at a counseling center named Mount Moriah...." Read more

"...motives, which is painful, but as the book is titled, it leads the reader to real peace...." Read more

"...Though the writing wasn’t the best, THE ANATOMY OF PEACE is an easy read, and I finished it in a matter of days...." Read more

"...It does provide diagrams and methods for how to treat people as people and not objects...." Read more

56 customers mention "Story format"48 positive8 negative

Customers appreciate the story format of the book, noting that learning takes place through narrative rather than philosophical lectures, and find it compelling. One customer specifically mentions that the fictional narrative effectively teaches principles of avoiding conflict.

"...It’s written as a story, which I found challenging because it makes it harder to judge whether certain principles are truly useful—the author can..." Read more

"...So, we began reading the main part of the book. The story in the book is fictional, about a fictional camp for wayward teenagers, and about two..." Read more

"...It uses a story form, which I liked much better than a straight instructional platform...." Read more

"...However, I was very impressed with it, particularly the story format versus a traditional 12 step self improvement process...." Read more

15 customers mention "Pacing"9 positive6 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the pacing of the book, with some finding it a quick read while others say it's slow to get into.

"This book is so timely. Just what our world needs now." Read more

"...What needed improvement: Took too long to get to the meat of the solution. The book seemed to drag on at times...." Read more

"...Sorry guys, but I'm onto you. On the other hand, this fast-paced, novel-like volume is an excellent introduction to the basic insights..." Read more

"...It is not an easy book to digest but I still highly recommend it." Read more

Amazing from start to finish! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
5 out of 5 stars
Amazing from start to finish! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
The book is simply amazing. Very grounded in it’s teaching method and while convicting the explanations are truly relatable. Very humbling experience. 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on February 15, 2025
    Leadership is a tricky task. No amount of technical excellence makes a good leader. The Arbinger Institute, a leadership research group, suggests that a heart at peace internally is the most important component for individuals to lead effectively. They contend this assertion applies to almost every realm of leadership, from parenting and organizations to world politics. And they show exactly how in this leadership fable.

    This story tells about a group that resolves family conflicts at a counseling center named Mount Moriah. The center deals with troublesome teens while the parents learn how to deal with their own leadership issues. The parents improve primarily through being confronted with themselves – their attitudes and dispositions, their “ways of being.”

    A Palestinian Muslim and an Israeli Jew guide the group. They talk about how their own life stories have reconciled themselves to each other despite prevailing war among their peoples. They have not solved Mideast peace, sadly, but they have brought their hearts to a greater position of peace. They seek to convey the lessons learned to these parents. The impact involves not only their families but every element of the adults’ lives.

    This book is a prequel to another bestselling book by the Arbinger Institute, Leadership and Self-Deception. Its principles are similar about being in and out of “the Box,” but this work better extrapolates what their views of leadership incorporate across the whole of life. The conflict-resolution lessons taught here do apply to business, but it reaches and engages much more. Thus, by using Martin Buber as a sage, the book explores more philosophy than just organizational leadership.

    Conflict resolution is central to leadership’s task wherever it is exercised. After a certain age, most of us have a leader’s role in life whether we like it or not. Therefore, this book’s appeal is fairly universal. Even when we live a solitary life, we usually must become involved in local, national, or world events that themselves ineluctably involve conflict. So we have to learn to do the hard work ourselves. This successful book lights a healthy way to start remedying conflict.
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on April 1, 2025
    This is such a great book. It really made me think about how I was coming across and how my intentions might be affecting outcomes.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 7, 2017
    This is one of the best books I have ever read. Some books I read are entertaining, some are inspiring, some are educational, and some are life changing. This book has been life changing for me. I have purchased several copies that I have given as Christmas presents and plan to give some as wedding gifts as well.

    Some of my favorite quotes are:

    "We can treat our children fairly but if our hearts are warring toward them while we’re doing it, they won’t think they’re being treated fairly at all....As important as behavior is most problems at home, at work, and in the world are not failures of strategy but failures of way of being."

    "We first need to find our way out of the internal wars that are poisoning our thoughts, feelings, and attitudes toward others. If we can’t put an end to the violence within us, there is no hope for putting an end to the violence without."

    "And we have seen how one warring heart invites more "object seeing" and warring in others."...."No one can force a warring heart upon us. When our hearts go to war, we ourselves have chosen it."

    "Because when I betray myself I create within myself a new need-a need that causes me to see others accusingly, a need that causes me to care about something other than truth and solutions, and a need that invites others to do the same in response."

    "As painful as it is to receive contempt from another, it is more debilitating by far to be filled with contempt for another."

    "A heart at war needs enemies to justify its warring. It needs enemies and mistreatment more than it wants peace."

    "Whenever we need to be justified, anything that will give us justification will immediately take on exaggerated importance in our life. Self betrayal corrupts everything-even the value we place on things."

    "the more sure I am that I’m right, the more likely I will actually be mistaken. My need to be right makes it more likely that I will be wrong! Likewise, the more sure I am that I am mistreated, the more likely I am to miss ways that I am mistreating others myself."

    "Difficult people are nevertheless people, and it always remains in my power to see them that way."

    "Everyone I hated was always with me, even when I was alone. They had to be, for I had to remember what and why I hated in order to remind myself to stay away from them."

    "It isn’t so much what you did as what you invited."

    "Because most who are trying to put an end to injustice only think of the injustices they believe they themselves have suffered. Which means that they are concerned not really with injustice but with themselves. They hide their focus on themselves behind the righteousness of their outward cause."

    "It is not the sense of what to do but the desire to do it that’s at issue...When we have recovered those sensibilities towards others, we must act on them."

    "You have the biggest influence in your children’s lives, so if we want to be a positive influence with your children we better have strong relationships with you."

    "If we don’t get our hearts right, our strategies won’t matter. Once we get our hearts right, however, outward strategies matter a lot."

    "Our passions, beliefs, and needs do not divide but unite: it is by virtue of our own passions, beliefs, and needs that we can see and understand others’. If we have beliefs we cherish, then we know how important others’ beliefs must be to them."
    142 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2025
    I got this book for a class, and as far as textbooks go, it’s decent. It’s written as a story, which I found challenging because it makes it harder to judge whether certain principles are truly useful—the author can shape the scenarios however they want. That said, the concepts in this book are fascinating, and it really opens your eyes to different perspectives.
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 6, 2024
    To get the full effect, the three books must be read, in no particular order. I began with Leadership and Self Deception, which intrigued me so much I immediately bought Anatomy of Peace and Outward Mindset. These books expose our inner motives, which is painful, but as the book is titled, it leads the reader to real peace. I've suggested this book to friends of mine: Sherrie was struggling to cope with her daughter's eating disorder which was spiraling out of control. She read it in 2 days and she's able to view the entire situation with a new vision and serenity.
    I began reading Leadership and Self Deception with a group of business partners looking to maximize ourselves to better serve others. We do this on a monthly basis and all the books we choose are profoundly life changing. Of all the books we've read in the past few years, this is number 2 (Insidious is number 1) and I refer back to the lessons regularly.
    One person found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2025
    I had a friend whose therapist recommended this book to get past some family pain and heartache. Since I am going through some similar situations to her, she told me to get the book and it would really help me.
    One person found this helpful
    Report

Top reviews from other countries

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  • Nitin Mahajan
    5.0 out of 5 stars Life Changing
    Reviewed in India on December 18, 2020
    Very well written and hard hitting. This type of books deepen the understanding of ourselves and people in general. It talks about the core of conflict. It talks about why do the conflicts happen in first place. So many books talk about thinking good about people who have hurt you. This books shows why and how. It has changed me, on level how I can have my heart at peace even during worst conflicts. If you feel you are at conflict very often, than give this book a try.
  • josephkempf
    5.0 out of 5 stars 前作を読んだ人必読!
    Reviewed in Japan on November 24, 2006
    前作Leadership and Self-Deceptionでは危機にあったZagrum社のLou Herbertに、自分自身が問題であったことに気付かせたCampのことが回想として語られているが、本作ではそのCampの様子が詳細に描かれている。とてもすばらしい体験です。人類一人ひとりすべてがこのように考えることができたなら、戦争は起きないでしょう。人々が憎しみあったりしないでしょう。そのためには、まず自らが変わらなければなりません。だまされたと思って読んでみてくださいとは言いません。猜疑心いっぱいのまま読んでみてください。やがてそんな自分が何だったのかがわかります。前作を読んでない人もこの本だけで充分に感動できます。
    Report
  • Hev
    5.0 out of 5 stars A perspective shifting, heart opening, life changing read
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 21, 2025
    I read the ebook and listened to this audiobook and feel changed by the experience. I had so many insights about my interactions with others, and what I witnessed in family dynamics, too. I know that this will impact my work and relationships from now on.
    I love that this wisdom is presented as a novel so that I could learn, receive the examples of the conversations between the characters, all without feeling the need to take notes.
    This is a book that I anticipate returning to time and again.
    Highly, HIGHLY recommended.
  • Eduardo Morales-Gonzalez
    5.0 out of 5 stars Muy interesante e ilustrativo
    Reviewed in Mexico on November 13, 2022
    De lo mejor que he meido
  • Sophie
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing, inspiring, touching!
    Reviewed in Germany on December 3, 2012
    I was very, very inspired and touched by the book and I decided to give it to all my friends as a Christmas present this year. I believe the book can have an amazing impact on people's lives, a positive one. It has a very clear and simple message which is so much needed in this world: how we can transform our hearts from being at war to being at peace. Wonderful!