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Burnout: The secret to solving the stress cycle Paperback – January 16, 2020
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The gap between what it's really like to be a woman and what people expect women to be is a primary cause of burnout, because we exhaust ourselves trying to close the space between the two. How can you 'love your body' when everything around you tells you you're inadequate? How do you 'lean in' at work when you're already giving 110% and aren't recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a world that is constantly telling you you're too fat, too needy, too noisy and too selfish? Sisters Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., the bestselling author of Come as You Are, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of overwhelm and exhaustion, and confront the obstacles that stand between women and well-being. With insights from the latest science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, Burnout reveals:
* what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle - and return your body to a state of relaxation.
* how to manage the 'monitor' in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration.
* how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies - and how to fight back.
* why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are key to recovering from and preventing burnout.
Eye-opening, compassionate and optimistic, Burnout will completely transform the way we think about and manage stress, empowering women to thrive under pressure and enjoy meaningful yet balanced lives. All women will find something transformative in these pages - and be empowered to create positive and lasting change.
- Print length218 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherBallantine Books
- Publication dateJanuary 16, 2020
- Dimensions5.04 x 0.71 x 7.8 inches
- ISBN-101785042092
- ISBN-13978-1785042096
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Product details
- Publisher : Ballantine Books
- Publication date : January 16, 2020
- Language : English
- Print length : 218 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1785042092
- ISBN-13 : 978-1785042096
- Item Weight : 7.4 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.04 x 0.71 x 7.8 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #3,422,899 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the authors
Emily Nagoski has a Ph.D. in Health Behavior with a minor in Human Sexuality from Indiana University, and a MS in Counseling, also from IU, including a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has been a sex educator for twenty-five years. She lives in western Massachusetts with a strange cat, two dogs, and a cartoonist.
Dr. Amelia Nagoski is a conductor and music professor, in which jobs her responsibilities include running around waving her arms and making funny noises, and generally doing whatever it takes to help singers get in touch with their internal experience. Her students have described her as "passionate, positive, and boundlessly enthusiastic."
In her teaching, performing, and writing, she focuses on connections between art and the experience of being alive in the world, with the expectation that understanding music can help us understand ourselves and each other.
She is the identical twin sister of Emily Nagoski, PhD.
Customer reviews
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To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. Instead, our system considers things like how recent a review is and if the reviewer bought the item on Amazon. It also analyzed reviews to verify trustworthiness.
Learn more how customers reviews work on AmazonCustomers say
Customers find the book provides great information on dealing with stress and anxiety, offering fantastic tools for managing daily and extreme stress. Moreover, they appreciate its accessibility, relatable content with vivid metaphors, and its focus on women's experiences. Additionally, the book offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout and is well-paced, with one customer noting how the authors artfully weave science throughout. However, some customers mention the book contains mostly bitterness.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book provides helpful insights, particularly in dealing with emotions of stress and anxiety, and offers fantastic tools for managing both daily and extreme stress.
"...burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski's book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, snuck up on me too. "..." Read more
"Review There was a lot of truly great content in this book...." Read more
"...It doesn't matter if you're burnt out or not. Talking about stress, how to work through it, and how to understand yourself is vital for everyone's..." Read more
"...This book explores burnout, combines stories and research to effectively share insights, and offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout." Read more
Customers find the book highly readable, describing it as a wonderful, accessible, and well-written text that is essential reading for all humans. One customer mentions it is particularly helpful for women struggling to feel accomplished.
"...Overall, it's good, but it's bit overhyped...." Read more
"...The good: - Very easy read, lots of stories, informal and accessible writing style -..." Read more
"...The book was written to be accessible to everyone, and it accomplished that." Read more
"...I read it in under a week because it was really enjoyable and I made the time to do so (I was disappointed when it ended!!)...." Read more
Customers appreciate the feminist content of the book, finding it important for all women, with one customer noting how it touches on many factors affecting women's lives.
"...The topics covered are so universal for women in the 21st century that you really feel like they get it; it's so nice to have your suspicions about..." Read more
"...This book is written for every woman who has survived the outrages of living in our society while female...." Read more
"...Instead of helping me reflect on my behaviors, this book blames the patriarchy. Yeah, that is part of the problem, but I can't control that piece." Read more
"I loved this book so much. Yes, it's feminist (in that...feminism is predicated on the basis of the equality of the sexes) and talks about why women..." Read more
Customers find the book relatable through its vivid metaphors and good use of stories, with one customer particularly appreciating the feelings tunnel analogy.
"...But, it’s just never gotten resolved for me. This book gives me permission to feel - a little - angry about it, so I can move through it." Read more
"...This book explores burnout, combines stories and research to effectively share insights, and offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout." Read more
"...Overall, it's good, but it's bit overhyped...." Read more
"...The writing is approachable, fun, and relatable...." Read more
Customers appreciate the book's strategies for managing burnout, with one customer specifically mentioning helpful advice about sleep and exercise.
"...This book explores burnout, combines stories and research to effectively share insights, and offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout." Read more
"...Good advice about sleep and exercise and people caring about each other The bad: -..." Read more
"...book is so full of golden nuggets, and absolutely tells you how to avoid and overcome burnout...." Read more
"This book was written for me. It is not just about burnout from daily life but also from the expectations that come with being a part of western..." Read more
Customers appreciate the pacing of the book, with one noting how the authors artfully weave science into the narrative, while others praise its great concept and approachable style.
"This book is brilliant. It's everything I wish I knew years ago. Every woman should read this. It doesn't matter if you're burnt out or not...." Read more
"...Skimmed through it a bit and saw there were many diagrams, which helps my brain understand a little better rather than just words on a paper...." Read more
"Very good book! Great ideas and methods to help recognize and improve stress levels!" Read more
"...My copy is riddled with notes and underlines. I appreciate the chapter wrap-ups at the end and the practical worksheets that are peppered throughout...." Read more
Customers find the book's healing properties positive, with one customer reporting lasting health improvements and another describing it as medicine for the soul.
"...It was medicine for the soul to read this and to converse about it along the way with a trusted friend." Read more
"...This books has made me feel so much better. Worthy, valuable, and allowed myself more grace...." Read more
"...I continue to reference it as I learn how to make lasting improvements to my health and well-being" Read more
"...on how stress and stressors work in our bodies and how to help our bodies heal. Highly recommended." Read more
Customers have mixed reactions to the book, with some finding it bitter and distressing, while another customer notes it's not super psychological.
"...This book helps me understand why, but it also gets me angry and it's a little cheesy sometimes...." Read more
"...The writing style feels immature and bitter...." Read more
"...Its not super psychological. Could be a fun read for someone who is not in serious need of stress coping skills. I want the nitty gritty...." Read more
"As a male reader this book was actually very distressing because it, in one fell swoop, both undermined the possibility of my emotional challenges,..." Read more
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on July 21, 2023The word burnout crept up in my everyday use since 2019 – and then the pandemic hit. No travel. No casual shopping. No conferences. None of the usual ways to break up the days. Burnout, especially at work, snuck up on me. Much like my own burnout, Emily and Amelia Nagoski's book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, snuck up on me too.
"First coined as a technical term by Herbert Freudenberger in 1975, "burnout" was defined by three components:
1. emotional exhaustion—the fatigue that comes from caring too much, for too long;
2. depersonalization—the depletion of empathy, caring, and compassion;
3. decreased sense of accomplishment—an unconquerable sense of futility: feeling that nothing you do makes any difference.
Written with women in mind, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle talks about the big and little stressors we experience daily – from the patriarchy (ugh) to the "second shift" most women have after work at home (house chores, caregiving). Compared to what it's like to be a woman, what's expected of women creates burnout without even realizing it. The authors discuss the Bikini Industrial Complex and the microaggressions women regularly experience for not looking, acting, or speaking in a certain way.
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle goes on to discuss how to complete the stress cycle. When we experience fight, flight, or freeze responses, our bodies react to those chemicals even though we are rarely in actual life-or-death experiences. The problems arise when we experience those reactions and don't get the fulfillment of knowing we are no longer in a life-or-death situation.
Too many women, especially women of color, grow up with unconscious biases about how we should behave, which is only exacerbated by others around us with unconscious biases. Before you know it, we're working ourselves too much, developing physical symptoms from a life of microaggressions and minor stressors, and we reach a breaking point. A part of this book encourages you to be aware of times in your life when you need to move on from whatever is causing you stress.
I appreciate a great deal about this book, but I loved how the authors didn't promise your burnout will magically go away if you take luxurious baths every night or try and "lean in" at work more. The premise of Burnout empowers us to accept ourselves exactly as we are and know that we are enough.
Buy Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle because we all need to work on unconscious biases around women at home, work, and in the world.
- Reviewed in the United States on November 6, 2024Burnout is always a word that is thrown around, but not one that we spend much time exploring. This book explores burnout, combines stories and research to effectively share insights, and offers reasonable strategies for managing burnout.
- Reviewed in the United States on June 24, 2019This book is everything. I've recommended it to every woman I've come across in my daily life that I think might benefit from reading it (translation: every woman I've come across in my daily life). I read it in under a week because it was really enjoyable and I made the time to do so (I was disappointed when it ended!!). I've reread it a second time and keep it on my desk as a constant reference and reminder of the topics addressed.
The writing is approachable, fun, and relatable. They make the science-y bits easily digestible, the philosophy bits graspable, and the patriarchy (ugh) bits smashable. The topics covered are so universal for women in the 21st century that you really feel like they get it; it's so nice to have your suspicions about some of your interpersonal interactions and society as a whole validated.
This was my first experience of "self-help" book, and I loved it so much that I have read everything else Emily Nagoski has written (Come as You Are is a game changer and her fiction under the pen name Emily Foster is really great). Can't recommend this book enough to anyone and everyone. It should be required reading for all women entering the workforce or any higher education; and honestly they should make it a requisite for girls to read before receiving their high school diploma or GED equivalency. Start 'em young so they can spot this stuff along the way and learn to deal with their stress before addressing their stressors!
- Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2024I got this book because I keep getting myself into situations where I am doing too much. This book helps me understand why, but it also gets me angry and it's a little cheesy sometimes. Overall, it's good, but it's bit overhyped.
What I want is to stop caring and to feel secure enough to stop constantly trying to prove myself.
Instead of helping me reflect on my behaviors, this book blames the patriarchy. Yeah, that is part of the problem, but I can't control that piece.
- Reviewed in the United States on January 3, 2025Really helped me understand stress!
- Reviewed in the United States on August 5, 2024I have this on Audible (they narrate it wonderfully) and in paperback. I am a therapist and use the workbook as well. I am pleased that it doesn't just tell what burn out is, but gives directions on how to combat it.
- Reviewed in the United States on September 25, 2024This book is brilliant. It's everything I wish I knew years ago. Every woman should read this. It doesn't matter if you're burnt out or not. Talking about stress, how to work through it, and how to understand yourself is vital for everyone's well being.
Many things that I doubted, questioned, and thought it was just me, I learned that research shows it isn't just me. There's nothing wrong with you, ladies. If you want to find out more about feeling more connected to yourself and others, I think this book is a good place to start.
- Reviewed in the United States on July 3, 2024This book was highly recommended by a friend who said it changed her relationship with stress forever. I heard the authors on Brene Brown’s podcast and it sounded amazing. But I’ve had this book for months and am struggling to get past the third chapter. Both authors are formidable experts in their fields and I loved Emily Nagoski’s book Come As Your Are… but this book is just trying too hard. I cannot handle the amount of sassy quips, personal stories, and random feminist anecdotes (I’m a feminist!) It goes beyond just being conversational or relatable in my opinion - it’s just plain hard to read. There is great information in here that is so valuable but it feels obscured by all these random jokes and cultural references - very disjointed and reads more like a series of Instagram posts than a book. I don’t need my self-help books to be this sarcastic.
Top reviews from other countries
- GigiReviewed in Italy on December 10, 2021
1.0 out of 5 stars Off track, ripetitive whiny banalities
After a promising start, the book becomes extremely dull, repetitive, ideological, and goes off the track in unintended direction. it then keep on complaining about things that have nothing to do with self improvement. This book wil probably not help anyone.
- JackieReviewed in France on June 14, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book
This book spoke directly to me. Recommended reading for women especially, at anytime in one's life-- not only when feeling tired and burntout.
- Alyce BlythReviewed in Australia on November 10, 2022
5.0 out of 5 stars Closing out stress cycles is life changing
Easy to read, easy to understand, mind blowing realisations
- Maria A Acuna ArreazaReviewed in Spain on February 14, 2025
5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book!
A real life changer.
- AlejandraReviewed in Mexico on December 3, 2021
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books I’ve ever read
It helps me a lot to understand my self and my current mood. I can put my feeling in real context and accept my self with compassion and love. Thanks for writing this book.