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The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships Imitation Leather – October 13, 2015

by Neil Strauss (Author)

4.6 3,082 ratings

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In The Truth, Neil Strauss takes on his greatest challenge yet: Relationships. And in this wild and highly entertaining ride, he explores the questions that men and women are asking themselves every day:

Is it natural to be faithful to one person for life?
Do alternatives to monogamy lead to better relationships and greater happiness?
What draws us to the partners we choose?
Can we keep passion and romance from fading over time?

His quest for answers takes him from Viagra-laden free-love orgies to sex addiction clinics, from cutting-edge science labs to modern-day harems, and, most terrifying of all, to his own mother.

What he discovered changed everything he knew about love, sex, relationships, and, ultimately, himself.

Searingly honest and compulsively readable, The Truth just may have the same effect on you.

If The Game taught you how to meet members of the opposite sex, The Truth will teach you how to keep them.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“One of the 33 books you need to read before the age of 30.” — The Independent

“One of the 9 books that defined 2015.” — Tech Insider

“A brutally honest and emotionally exhaustive account of his search for sexual freedom. . . . Yes, there are orgies and swinger parties, but there are also far more intense discussions about the meaning of intimacy and the underlying causes of sexual behavior.” — Booklist

“[Strauss] charms us with confessions of his screwed-up childhood and the many idiotic beliefs and mistakes that have plagued him, then upsells us on the notion that we can be masters of the universe-and he can teach us how. Color me seduced.” — Laura Miller, Slate

“The guy who wrote The Game and lived The Game searches for love and learns that it’s way, way harder. And funnier.” — Joel Stein, Time magazine

“The Truth is fantastic...In the course of exorcising his pickup artist demons, Strauss learns and exposes the barriers to intimacy that so many of us are carrying around. If you’ve struggled with monogamy, or loved someone who has, this book is revelatory.” — Chicago Tribune

“The epiphanies revealed are simultaneously incredibly obvious and richly profound... I want you to read this book. I want your partners to read this book. More than that, I want you to think critically about what it says about you and the world around you and your romantic relationships.” — Grantland

About the Author

Neil Strauss is a ten-time New York Times best-selling author. His books, The Game and Rules Of The Game, for which he went undercover in a secret society of pickup artists for two years, made him an international celebrity and an accidental hero to men around the world. Both books topped The New York Times best-seller list and were #1 on Amazon, and the former has the dubious distinction of being the most stolen book at Barnes & Noble besides The Bible.

His other best-selling books include Emergency,How to Make Love Like a Porn Star with Jenna Jameson, The Dirt with Motley Crue, and The Long Hard Road Out of Hell with Marilyn Manson.

Strauss has also contributed to Esquire, Maxim, Spin, Entertainment Weekly, Details, The Source, New York Newsday, and many other magazines and newspapers. Beyond journalism, Strauss has acted in everything from Curb Your Enthusiasm to rock videos by Beck and 30 Seconds to Mars. He has written liner notes for albums by Nirvana; performed on albums by Marilyn Manson; and DJ’ed at clubs around the world. He also hosted his own interview show, The Inner Circle with Neil Strauss, on SiriusXM. And has written television shows for HBO, FX, and Cartoon Network.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Dey Street Books (October 13, 2015)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Imitation Leather ‏ : ‎ 448 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0060898763
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0060898762
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.46 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.37 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #196,967 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #573 in Sex & Sexuality
- #1,105 in Love & Romance (Books)
- #6,297 in Memoirs (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.6 3,082 ratings

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Neil Strauss

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A former New York Times cultural critic and Rolling Stone contributing editor, Neil Strauss is the author of ten New York Times bestselling books, including The Truth, The Game, Rules of the Game, Emergency, and Everyone Loves You When You're Dead. He is also the coauthor of the New York Times bestsellers The Creative Act with Rick Rubin, I Can't Make This Up with Kevin Hart, The Dirt with Mötley Crüe, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star with Jenna Jameson, and The Long Hard Road Out of Hell with Marilyn Manson. His serial podcast To Live & Die in LA reached number one on the iTunes charts, and was named by the Associated Press as the best podcast of the year.

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Customers say

Customers find the book interesting and worth reading. They appreciate the author's honesty, witty humor, and engaging writing style. Readers describe the writing as great, exciting, and engaging. The story is described as heartfelt and raw, with humor about the human condition. Overall, customers praise the book for its insightful and grounding personal journey.

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Readability Insight Writing quality Honesty Heartfelt writing Humor Story quality Vulnerability

156 customers mention "Readability"147 positive9 negative

Customers find the book engaging and entertaining. They find it informative and consider it a worthwhile read.

"...You'll get plenty of entertainment value from this book...." Read more

"...In order to do this, Neil embarks on yet another epic, eloquently written journey...." Read more

"...The author has a simplistic style of writing and it is an enjoyable book to read...." Read more

"...This is the most important book I read this year and I think you should too. Regardless of your gender or age or your relationship issues...." Read more

123 customers mention "Insight"123 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and enlightening. They say it provides useful information and is about a journey of self-discovery. Readers appreciate the author's openness, wisdom, and analytical writing style.

"...end or a disastrous one, but throughout it all the search for meaning remains constant...." Read more

"...Constantly analytical, at times devastatingly self-deprecating, yet always driven by a desire to reach his nirvana-- even if at times he's not sure..." Read more

"...situations that you wouldn't otherwise witness, some thought provoking questions, and bits and pieces about attachment theory and psychotherapy that..." Read more

"...This book is about a journey of self discovery, to be at peace with yourself, not just relationships & I owe the writer for the impact he had one me." Read more

74 customers mention "Writing quality"64 positive10 negative

Customers find the writing engaging, exciting, and easy to read. They appreciate the author's ability to guide readers through difficult topics and consider it a must-read for 21st century people trying to understand relationships.

"...His wild adventures, awe-inspiring honesty, and captivating writing style made for an unstoppable read...." Read more

"...The author has the writing ability to take you on a journey with him as he bares the entirely human side of him, flaws and all...." Read more

"...Neil's writing is exciting, funny and full of practical approaches on how to be a better person...." Read more

"...-The author does a great job guiding readers through a lot of difficult topics from a "newbie" perspective...." Read more

73 customers mention "Honesty"70 positive3 negative

Customers appreciate the author's honesty. They find the book engaging and honest, with a refreshing writing style. Readers describe it as a raw and real memoir about Neil Strauss' life.

"...exactly that, and the result is a piece of work so brazenly, unpretentiously honest that it will probably break down most if not every preconceived..." Read more

"...I still think fondly of that book. His wild adventures, awe-inspiring honesty, and captivating writing style made for an unstoppable read...." Read more

"...The Truth is intriguing, funny, heartfelt, sometimes annoying and whiny, sometimes makes you want to go up to the author and smack him upside his..." Read more

"...Anyway, what you get for reading are genuinely well thought out and valuable psychological insights...." Read more

64 customers mention "Heartfelt writing"54 positive10 negative

Customers find the book's writing honest and raw. They say it's an emotional read that captivates them with its insights into relationships, whether intimate or platonic. The author provides a revealing self-portrait that sheds light on secrets.

"...And it covers a lot - sex addiction therapy, free love conventions, building a harem, and more...." Read more

"...The Truth is intriguing, funny, heartfelt, sometimes annoying and whiny, sometimes makes you want to go up to the author and smack him upside his..." Read more

"...least, this book is triumph in communicating one's inner self, one's sexual self, and in blending vulnerability with ambition...." Read more

"...type of expertise in one of the most confusing, poignant, passionate, hurtful, exciting, enlightening and bewildering, and potentially fulfilling..." Read more

63 customers mention "Humor"63 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the book's humor. They find it entertaining, witty, and engaging. The content touches on the human condition in an insightful way. Readers appreciate the profound quotes and insights that are interwoven into the story.

"...I found myself jotting down certain passages or profound quotes throughout the book, ones that hit the chords deep within...." Read more

"...The Truth is intriguing, funny, heartfelt, sometimes annoying and whiny, sometimes makes you want to go up to the author and smack him upside his..." Read more

"...Neil's writing is exciting, funny and full of practical approaches on how to be a better person...." Read more

"...in one of the most confusing, poignant, passionate, hurtful, exciting, enlightening and bewildering, and potentially fulfilling aspects of the human..." Read more

42 customers mention "Story quality"42 positive0 negative

Customers enjoy the story and find it interesting. They describe it as an amazing journey with drama and emotional depth. Readers appreciate the author's honest growth and experiences throughout the story.

"...And it covers a lot - sex addiction therapy, free love conventions, building a harem, and more...." Read more

"...All in all, it's a hell of a ride that delves into the deepest chasms of self-discovery...." Read more

"...And truthfully, you want the happy ending. It is a roller coaster ride of monogamy, psychotherapy, various alternative relationships, orgies, and..." Read more

"...Good story. Great writing. Unique topic. Highly Relevant. Valuable insights." Read more

16 customers mention "Vulnerability"16 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the author's honesty and vulnerability in the book. They find the book provides a solid framework and path from the darks, with integrity and authenticity. Readers also mention the author's voice is honest and no holds barred.

"...It's an exploration into possibilities and a convincing argument for why many of us (most of us) end up sticking with what seem to be the societal..." Read more

"...The Truth is an insanely vulnerable, honest, and introspective dive into what it's like to be a broken, traumatized person, and the paths that wind..." Read more

"...It's masterfully written and edited, raw, vulnerable, funny and uncompromisingly honest...." Read more

"...Wow. Also, this author's voice is so honest, no holds barred...." Read more

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Harry
It's not a book about relationships, it's about you
Reviewed in the United States on November 4, 2015
Verified Purchase

I'm going to break it to everyone that hasn't read this book yet: The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships isn't that uncomfortable at all. The book both highly comforting and wildly reassuring. Its message is as simple as it is beautiful: If you want to have successful relationships, fix yourself and your childhood issues first, the rest will take care of itself.

Across nearly five hundred pages, Neil Strauss does exactly that, and the result is a piece of work so brazenly, unpretentiously honest that it will probably break down most if not every preconceived notion you've harbored about life and relationships. Namely, that love is not about finding the right person, it is about becoming the right person. Through twists and turns sometimes odd and mostly painful, Strauss takes us on a journey to discover just what the process of becoming the right person was for himself.

And it covers a lot - sex addiction therapy, free love conventions, building a harem, and more. For Strauss, each path leads to either a confusing end or a disastrous one, but throughout it all the search for meaning remains constant. The fact is, each of us living and breathing in the world today is looking to get through our lives with something of value, and the best we've discovered so far is to find someone to we love to share it with. How we achieve that - and respond to the struggles getting there - is what defines us as a person. This is Neil Strauss attempting to define himself, in a way I think few writers in the world today could pull off.

You'll get plenty of entertainment value from this book. The places Strauss is willing to delve into on his quest to find fulfillment will leave you both baffled and amused at times. Sometimes you'll be able to see the flaws he's making from your outward vantage point; other times you don't know where he's taking you but you're curious to find out where it leads. Once he works his issues out in the end and makes the discoveries he's made and shares every one of them with you, you'll be left reflecting on every similar pivot point in your own relationship life and what it all means. It's a book that leaves you better off than when you started it.

I'm a single man, but I think anyone can benefit from this book. It's not about one man's quest to be with the woman he loves; it's about one man's willingness to uncover the hidden, painful realities of his own life and what he decides to do about it. That is inspiration for anyone, young or old, single or married, enlightened or lost.

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Peter Walerysiak
Neil Strauss has done more for me than he'll ever know.
Reviewed in the United States on November 17, 2015
Verified Purchase
I read his previous work "The Game" early in college, and applied a few of its elements to grow some confidence in an area of my life that I lacked. I still think fondly of that book. His wild adventures, awe-inspiring honesty, and captivating writing style made for an unstoppable read.

Now we're six years later, and I'm in the deep end of the real world. The reckless unending party that was college is done. Sure there are still bars, house parties, and of course dating apps, but it never really seems to fill that void. Everyone has it -- that desire that needs to be quenched, and if it is, then you just might find happiness. It may be straightforward for some, or hidden beneath layer after layer for others. "The Truth" encourages you to look inside yourself, to begin that journey to enlightenment.

In order to do this, Neil embarks on yet another epic, eloquently written journey. It's full of scenarios that one might only touch upon in daydreams -- some that spark envy, and some that make you cringe and whisper "ohh NO". But throughout it all he opens up to you -- the reader -- more than possibly your best friend would. Constantly analytical, at times devastatingly self-deprecating, yet always driven by a desire to reach his nirvana-- even if at times he's not sure what that may be or how to get there.

All in all, it's a hell of a ride that delves into the deepest chasms of self-discovery. I found myself jotting down certain passages or profound quotes throughout the book, ones that hit the chords deep within. It's inspired me to look at myself and do what I can to improve my own life, so that I can be ready and whole when that special someone comes around.

5/5. Thanks Neil.

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Cathy
The Review: A Woman's Unexpected Journey of Reading The Truth
Reviewed in the United States on October 31, 2015
Verified Purchase
I remember stumbling across the author's other book, The Game, a few years ago. I'm a woman and the description of the book immediately made me think of this womanizing ex-coworker of mine, who used to brag about his conquests as if he's reaping the rewards of the unresolved daddy issues of these beautiful women. And it all worked because he knew a thing or two about manipulation and games. Needless to say, I rolled my eyes and move on with my online book shopping never expecting to read any of his books. Recently, an author I do like and subscribe to, sent an email about this book and bits and pieces from the book. I got a bit intrigued and decided to purchase this to diversify my book collection, which is starting to look lopsided subject-wise. When the book arrived, I started to read it and couldn't put it down.

The Truth is intriguing, funny, heartfelt, sometimes annoying and whiny, sometimes makes you want to go up to the author and smack him upside his bald head, and other times you root for him, empathize, and sympathize. And truthfully, you want the happy ending. It is a roller coaster ride of monogamy, psychotherapy, various alternative relationships, orgies, and harems. The author has the writing ability to take you on a journey with him as he bares the entirely human side of him, flaws and all. He is not always like-able but you stick around to see what happens to him. And sprinkled throughout the book are some interesting situations that you wouldn't otherwise witness, some thought provoking questions, and bits and pieces about attachment theory and psychotherapy that the reader can think about and look into while reading this book.

The author has a simplistic style of writing and it is an enjoyable book to read. However, there are times his self-deprecating humor goes too far and it can become self-loathing. He sometimes put himself in situations that are obviously bad and selfish but he does it anyway, other times he's this awkward guy that starts to annoy you, or he whines and self loathes for pages and you just want to swiftly kick his behind. Then you realize, this is a book about one man's journey in figuring himself out and what type of relationship he wants to have in his life so he's not going to get his poop together until he figures some things out. Along the (mis)adventures of Neil Strauss, you do get some laugh out loud moments, some eye opening moments, and some thought provoking moments. I never thought I would say this but I would recommend reading this book.

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Cliente Kindle
Muito bom livro
Reviewed in Brazil on October 2, 2022
Verified Purchase

Este livro abre sua mente em relação a monogamia e poligamia, principalmente para os praticantes do pua que geralmente visam a poligamia como o melhor estilo de vida.

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Rodrigo Pérez
God first read of Strauss
Reviewed in Mexico on March 28, 2018
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A story with a good variety of experiences which may give you very interesting insights to ponder about. Easy and fun writin, definitely not a step by step guide on how to handle relationships, but that's exactly the good part.

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Oliver Oertel
Wow... Was für ein gutes Buch... ❤️
Reviewed in Germany on January 9, 2019
Verified Purchase
Wow... Was für ein spannendes und weises Buch. Und ich hab meinen Weg an so vielen Stellen wiedererkannt. Und wer weiss, auf welche Weise er sich fortsetzen wird. Die Lektüre ist für alle empfohlen, die die Wahrheit in sich und der Liebe finden wollen. Denn wir alle leben nur einmal - und wie viele Menschen gibt es da draußen, die nie ihr wahres Potential entdecken, zu lieben und geliebt zu werden. Aus Angst. Ich glaube, jeder muss seinen eigenen Weg finden - aber dieses Buch liefert eine Menge Inspiration, wie es gehen kann.

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Kerrie
Fantastic read
Reviewed in Australia on November 24, 2021
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Really great book with excellent insights. There’s an lesson in there for anyone who has ever struggled with relationships, either as an addict or avoidant

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Noel Samuel
Read this!
Reviewed in Japan on August 24, 2019
Verified Purchase
This book is one of the best things I've ever read. I was initially skeptical about a lot of the information in it, but reading it all the way through, it's an incredible journey of growth and revelation, I would recommend it to anyone!

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The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships Imitation Leather – October 13, 2015

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5.0 out of 5 stars It's not a book about relationships, it's about you

5.0 out of 5 stars Neil Strauss has done more for me than he'll ever know.

4.0 out of 5 stars The Review: A Woman's Unexpected Journey of Reading The Truth

Top reviews from other countries

5.0 out of 5 stars Muito bom livro

5.0 out of 5 stars God first read of Strauss

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow... Was für ein gutes Buch... ❤️

5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic read

5.0 out of 5 stars Read this!

It's not a book about relationships, it's about you

Neil Strauss has done more for me than he'll ever know.

The Review: A Woman's Unexpected Journey of Reading The Truth

Muito bom livro

God first read of Strauss

Wow... Was für ein gutes Buch... ❤️

Fantastic read

Read this!